I have always been very open that my biggest weakness is also my biggest strength, overly confident. For most of my life I have had this undeniable belief that I am highly capable of accomplishing anything I set my mind to. Most of this confidence, I believe, comes from being told over and over again that was tough, strong, and smart as a little girl. I remember very few times in my early life being told I was beautiful but I remember often hearing I was strong.
Side Note: I try to carry that over to my girls but fail often because they are so darn pretty.
Anyway . . .
Women who follow my work and read my blogs have expressed that they don't share that innate confidence in themselves. Although I feel my super power is getting women to believe in themselves, I want also to reach out in a rare moment of vulnerability and say, "me too."
I too have moments of questioning if I'm actually good enough, strong enough, smart enough, talented enough, to get done what I need to get done to live the life I want to live.
I have a membership site in the works but it takes months to put together properly. The idea I had was truly one of a kind. No one in this country was doing what I want to do and I was so excited to feel original in a creative world where nothing is original. Now that I teach online courses all of my ads on facebook and instagram seem to be for online courses - thanks Big Brother and insert eye roll. I actually don't want to see my "competition" because it tends to make me question my own choices; which at 6:00 am this morning is exactly what happened.
I was scrolling though, drinking coffee, waiting to do all the hair for all the girls, when I came across an ad for a membership site for photographers "First of it's kind" "No other course offers this" and my heart sunk. I read the description and it was EXACTLY what my idea was. The idea in the business world is, however, if it works for one, it will work for two. No two people can teach something in the exact same way so never stop an idea just because someone else had it first.
I should have quit reading about the membership, but I didn't. I read about the photographer and my heart sunk again . . . She was me. No, hear me out. She's a Jesus loving, homeschool mom of 4 kids, with 5,000 followers on instagram . . . Seriously, she is me. I guess that's why we had the same idea.
In that moment I felt so small. I looked through her images and they were STUNNING. Like amazing. She had my idea, was amazing at what she does, and was just 6 months ahead of me.
I spent the next hour thinking things like:
"She's already launched your idea. You should stop now before you do all that work."
"Teaching was easier."
"I wish Tim had a high paying job so I could quit all this pushing."
"Maybe I should go back to taking all the sessions and step out of education before I go too far."
"You should edit like the trendy photographers and you'd have more followers."
"If you would shoot dark, I bet more people would like you."
You guys, this is very unlikely but it does still happen. After 10 years of having a successful business, I still question myself. I still compare.
I believe fully that the number one reason most women do not succeed in business is comparison. This comes from zero reports or google searches. I believe this simply by talking to other women. Why are there no reports on this? I'll tell you; most women are giving up before they start so NO ONE is asking them anything about their dreams or their business because it never really got off the ground in the first place. Most women look around and see other people successfully doing what they would love to do and sigh with a "what's the point" attitude.
Do you know that over 2,000 people started to purchase my lightroom course? TWO-FREAKING-THOUSAND and only 32 hit purchase. Now I realize some people didn't buy because of timing or cost but most sent messages like, "There are so many photographers." or "It's really just a hobby and -SO AND SO- photographer is in my area and is just so good."
Blah and bologna.
Of course other people are successfully doing what you dream about, otherwise, would you really be dreaming about it?
After I got over my little pity party, I washed my face (Thank you Rachel Hollis) and got my sh*t together.
So I wasn't the first to release a membership site just like the one I dreamed about - oh well, maybe I'll be the second.
Instead of hating on this girl who did what I wanted to do, I sent her a message. I told her that we had so much in common it would be great to connect because very few people in this world are going through the exact same thing dreaming the exact same dream. Within minutes she messaged me back and was so happy to meet someone pursuing the same things while balancing diapers and lunch boxes.
Long story short, even people who you look at as "successful" fall into the comparison game.
The difference between success and failure is giving up and giving into the "not enough" worries that flood your mind.